The Passion Of Serpent's Breath

So, yes, the best news I've heard this year is that the greatest thing to come from the area I live has a new album on the way. In The Constellation Of The Black Widow is one of my favourite grindcore/black/death/audio assault albums of all time, so expectations are pretty high from me.

Thankfully, it looks like these expectations will be met (and then some). You can hear one of the new tracks HERE.

If the rest of the album is as good as that track, then this will easily be one of the greatest releases of 2011.

Watch this space.

Earthtone9 Tour

http://www.seetickets.com/

'Nuff said.

Love Twilight? Complement Your Shit Taste In Films With Shit Music!

Photographic proof that the metal scene needs a cull.

Not knowing any 14 year old Twilight fans, I was blissfully unaware of the band Vampires Everywhere!, so it is with great regret that I inform you that that happy period of my life has now drawn to a close.

If you haven't heard of this band, then let me fill you in. First to note is that the auto-tuned melodic vocals have been so computerized that they resemble Wall-E singing karaoke, but this still doesn't disguise the obvious fact that the vocalist has so little talent that he's in danger of collapsing into his own vacuousness, creating a musical black hole. Worry not! The vocalist has two settings! The 'heavy' vocals are on a par with the 'heavy' vocals from We Are The Ocean (i.e. the sounds of a 15 year old having a hissy fit), so it's not like the melodic vocals can be forgiven in that respect. Mix that with uninspiring....everything...., lyrics that make you wonder if these young hipsters have Bieber-fever and a dress sense that makes them look like an army of Noel Fielding clones. The result is a mess so catastrophic that I'm starting to think that there might be some as-yet-unknown law of the universe that creates a baby Jesus just so he can bawl his fucking eyes out over the whole affair.

You know when Bill Hicks used to rant about certain talentless musicians sucking Satan's cock in order to achieve fame & success? These guys are the epitome of those musicians; I'm guessing their gullets must be saltier than a 'value' supermarket ready meal.

If, like me, curiosity will end up killing your ears, you can listen to some of their tracks on their MySpace page (click here - don't say I didn't warn you).

The Ocean Release 'Firmament' Video

This is easily my favourite song from their 2010 release 'Heliocentric', so was excited when I first saw that they'd uploaded a 'live video' for it. It's disappointing that the audio is the CD recording (plus a bit of Shamayim at the start), but I suppose it's a fairly cheap way of making a music video, even if it does mean that they're missing a great opportunity to do a ISIS-style video for the song.
Still, it's a stop-gap for those waiting for the live DVD (myself included) I keep hearing about.
I can't help but feel that the camera men were a little too excited by the guitarists (nice as it is watching a guy acting out furious masturbation via the medium of a guitar contributing to music you can't hear), or that they just had a vendetta against the vocalist, as Loic Rossetti barely gets a look-in. It's not a huge deal, I'm only really mentioning it because it's one of the only music videos I've seen where most of the attention wasn't on the vocalist (it's not like the song is mostly instrumental either).
Shame the crowd are doing their best to mimic rigor mortis, the contrast between the frenzy the guitarists shake their instruments around with against the stupor of the audience is almost comical. Ah well, the song itself is flawless, so just concentrate on that.
(Is it just me, or does one of the band members look like Bob Ross?)

Review: Celldweller - Cellout EP 01

Celldweller's self-titled album, released in 2003, is one of the only albums where every single track has been licensed for a move, game or some other form of entertainment. That's a pretty impressive feat. It's not too difficult to work out how this occurred, as the album almost seems like it was specifically written for fight scenes or car chases, making music reminiscent of Linkin Park around the time of Re-Animation (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). Though I think many of the songs on the album are actually pretty weak with badly written choruses, it's the mix of electronica and nu-mutal guitars which makes it a good album to put on in a party atmosphere or to complement a fast-paced gaming session. Think of it as Rammstein with a MacBook.

8 years later and we have Cellout EP 01, a 6 track remix EP (3 songs, then the instrumental versions of those songs). Two of the songs are from the first album, the other from the second installment of the 'Wish Upon A Blackstar' album. I have nothing against the idea of remixes if they're done well, in fact it's difficult to deny that the three on this EP are good remixes (qua remixes), but they just feel a little pointless. I think it says quite a lot about the artist if they're still remixing songs from an album they released 8 years ago, especially given that the two installments of the 'Wish Upon A Blackstar' (the long-awaited second album Klayton hasn't even finished yet) have been disappointingly underwhelming.

So the songs are remixed, sure, but not into anything significantly different (electronica nu-metal remixed into electronica nu-metal). Klayton throws in the occasional bit of dubstep (which is possibly the most overblown and boring style of music I've ever listened to), but this isn't a good thing. Ever.

If you're a die-hard Celldweller fan then whatever the review you'll download it regardless. It's not a bad piece to add to the collection, it's just a mediocre one & not one I think will get repeated plays. If you've not really listened to Celldweller before, I'd suggest checking out the almost-entirely-instrumental 'Soundtrack To The Voices In My Head Vol. 1'. It showcases the best of Celldweller in that it focuses on what Klayton does best; mix electronica with catchy nu-metal riffs. That way, you don't have to deal with the feeling that the vocals undermine most of the music; it's not that his voice isn't suited to the music (it is), it's just that he can't seem to write catchy vocal sections. Celldweller is a band that should be amazing & there's no obvious reason why it shouldn't be, but after so much average material it's difficult to get excited about new releases; this EP does nothing to change that.

[5/10]